Weight Check - November 28, 2009

Current Weight: 297 pounds
This Week’s Weight Gain: 0.5 pounds (thank goodness this is all I gained during the holidays)
Goal Weight: 140 pounds
Goal for Next Week: 5 pounds

What's the worst job you ever held, and why was it so awful?

The worst job I have ever was when I worked at an IT project manager for a mid-sized company in Wichita. Working there was like being transported back in the 1950s.

Shortly after I started, I found out that a report went out of anyone who checked in after 8AM. I was running a few minutes late one morning due to a dead battery. I called my supervisor who warned me to be half an hour late so that I would not get written up for tardiness. Apparently, anything after half an hour was seen as something that was probably excused and so not investigated. If I had known they were prone to such tight-assed nonsense I never would have accepted the offer.

I also had a rather heated debate a lunch one day with coworkers (actually, it was rather one-sided because I refused to argue with them) over Anna-Nicole Smith. Apparently, everyone at the company hated her because the President/Owner did. He hated her because her deceased husband had been a friend of his family and he felt Anna-Nicole was a gold-digger.

J. Howard Marshall looked like death on a stick when they married. If Anna-Nicole let that withered old man touch her then not only does she deserve every dime, but she also deserves an Academy Award. After all, I have seen her speak and watched her in motion. I am pretty damn sure that J. Howard Marshall did not marry Anna-Nicole for her sparkling wit and scintillating personality.

Any way, I stated my case along with the fact that wealthy old men can avoid gold-diggers by marrying women their own age, but my coworkers were having none of it. Apparently, the President/Owner of the company felt a certain way and so everyone else must too. Whatever. I have my own opinions.

Not surprisingly, my first performance evaluation went rather poorly. When I protested, I was called into the office by my bosses’ boss and told it was not my place to question the opinion of my betters (exact words). I mentally checked out that second and handed in my resignation a few months later.

Every once in a while, one of them tries to connect with me on Facebook or LinkedIn. I always refuse.

Missing My Connection

I have been friends with Peter* for about 15 years. We met during a 5K-charity walk. I was rounding down my walk and headed toward the finish line when this goofy, nerdy guy (and I say that with affection) that I had never seen before pops up at my left elbow.

I jumped about 5 feet off the ground, and he spent the next few minutes apologizing. Somehow the conversation segued into dating. He found out I was single and invited me to his place for a home-cooked meal. After finding out that we knew several of the same people, I promised to call to set a date.

I contacted our mutual friends to see make sure he was not married, on the down low, or a sociopath. Everyone liked him, so I gave him a call and made arrangements to come over.

It’s been a long time since that day. I remember that Peter prepared some weird dish that I did not care for but managed to choke down. I also remember him being a great conversationalist and an all-around nice guy. He was definitely someone my mother would love (in fact, she has met him and she does love him) and someone I would love to date.

Unfortunately, the timing was bad. I was set to leave for graduate school in a few months. We did, however, keep in touch. I remember feeling a twinge of regret when Peter announced his engagement and some relief when it was broken off.

Through the years, I’ve always made seeing Peter a priority whenever we are traveling in the same city. He’s hit on me a few times, but I am remarkably dense – I can never tell when a guy likes me unless he comes right out and says so - and Peter is really not that aggressive. I am still shocked that worked up the nerve to approach me that first time. This has made for several missed connections.

Last week, amidst growing romantic feelings, I sent Peter an email (yes, it’s cowardly, but it was the best I could do), letting him know once and for all how I felt. I invited him out for my birthday and said that I just wanted to see him. I never got a response.

He updated his Facebook page, his LinkedIn profile, and posted to Twitter. There was no response to my email message. After a day of great agitation I removed him as a connection from every single site we share in common and set up a rule on my email server that all messages from him were to be discarded before they hit my inbox.

It was bad for my state of mind – and my reputation at work – to spend the day in such a state of distraction. I was not able to get everything done because I was checking my Blackberry every other minute.

I am a bit sad because I will miss his friendship; Peter is a great and loyal friend. I feel like a fool for opening myself to someone with so little regard for my feelings that he can’t even spare 5 minutes to reply back, "Sorry, but I am not interested." One thing for sure, I will no longer be dating black men.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

That’s probably why it’s best to wear a belt

I am back to taking public transportation. It’s cheaper than keeping gas in my car, and easier on my mental state of mind (the freeways here suck).

I usually sit toward the front, and keep my nose in a book. I find that is discourages the crazies.

The bus was about half full the other evening when a woman stood up with her groceries in hand. At the same time, her pants fell down. Unfortunately for her, she was not wearing any underwear. Going commando as she was and sitting near the front of the bus, we all got a great view of her bare bottom.

She quickly hustled out the door. I’ll have to admit to not offering my help but that is because I was busy trying to keep from laughing out loud. Thank goodness for my book; I was able to bury my face in it so that there would be no chance she saw me struggling to not laugh at her.

Weight Loss Thoughts

While I was off work, I spent a considerable amount of time working with a nutritionist to get my binge eating under control. I quickly lost weight, but got stuck in a cycle. How said that, hundreds of dollars later, I have not been able to break it. I am managing my food addiction better; I no longer feel the need to mug people for their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. However, I have yet to go an entire day without consuming some type of forbidden snack.

I find myself at an all time high just as we head into the Thanksgiving season. This is not where I want to be.

It’s my understanding that the average calorie consumption for Americans on Thanksgiving Day is between 17,000 and 21,000. Yes, that’s right, twenty-one thousand calories.

I have the hardest time at my first stop because they serve the food so late that I snack on everything under the sun. I am hitting the gym in the morning, but it would take me days to burn off what I usually eat. It makes me want to spend the day chained to the table in a vegan restaurant as, presumably, there’s only so much damage one can do binging on fruits and vegetables.

Weight Check - November 21, 2009

Current Weight: 296.5 pounds
This Week’s Weight Loss: Unknown (I have not weighed myself in a while)
Goal Weight: 140 pounds
Weight loss goal for next weigh in: Just don’t gain any weight during the holidays